i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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