I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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