that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
