he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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