it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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