I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize