well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
They have beer where we have blood.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
