Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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