dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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