So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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