Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
