Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
