this beer tastes like vomit already
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
