please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
