I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I am available for nakedness
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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