sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You are a genius and a whore.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
