Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
