Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
