my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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