my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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