so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize