I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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