My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
