The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
