i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
dude. I can hear the air.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
