i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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