White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
