If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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