I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
