you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
