I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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