is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
