man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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