Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Girls should come with a carfax report
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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