She said her name was "party"
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
