Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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