we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize