If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
