xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize