She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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