He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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