If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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