Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We talked him into tasing himself.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
