We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
