whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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