I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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