dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There r osticjed everywhere
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
