dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
