You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
