Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
