How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize