I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
