I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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