Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
