We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
