Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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