Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
