I wannas sexs uuuuu
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i would one night stand the shit outta him
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
