Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
