She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
